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| You always have a solution.
Can you tell me what should I do now?
When I realised that all I've been doing the past few months is trying to find a replacement?
Trying to change someone into you.
And I hurt someone.
I made her fallin love with me,
thinking that she's a total opposite from you,
but yet when she's behaving differently,
I get annoyed and try to change her into you.
ARGH!
I'm the meanest person on Earth.
How could I do that to someone.
I should just die seriously. | | |
| After so long,
I can't believe you still refuse to talk to me,
you never even wish me during my birthday,
SO much for you saying,
"If it's not good enough,
let me try again next year?"
And worst,
after all these while,
I'm starting to fear,
that all I did,
was finding a replacement,
and moulding that person to be you.
I miss you.
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| Sometimes.
I don't even know why am I blogging here.
It's like,
am I still putting hope?
That one day you'll eventually stop by here,
and realised that after so long,
I still can't forget?
But maybe again,
you don't care at all.
Two of our mutual friends just ended their r/s after 3 and a half years.
How long is that huh?
You know why can they sustain it?
Because at least one of them,
still bother to ask for chance.
Eventhough after that she don't bother to change.
But you?
The last thing any girl would ever want to hear at that moment,
would be I RESPECT YOUR DECISION.
Why am I ranting anyway?
I should be the one waking up from all this unreasonable shit.
Yesterday,
I was out till no more trains home.
It's so ironic that when I texted her,
her respond was almost exactly what you'll say.
First of all,
why are you even out till so late?
If I can go home earlier, I won't be stuck at this situation.
I'm telling you people because I need your support.
Not adding additional misery to the situation.
Then,
I don't like you being out so late.
Why must you make me worried?
You guys think I like to be out stranded alone?
If I have a choice of course I don't want to be in such a situation.
You think I don't feel bad enough? Seriously,
that is almost the exact thing that happened,
when I was lock out of my house.
All you did was scolding me.
If you even realised.
But of couse,
you're never wrong.
You're God.
The one who is always right.
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| Times really flies.
A year ago,
you're so excited telling me about your plans for my birthday.
I wonder this year,
will you even remember it.
I wonder,
will you think of us..
I wonder,
have you ever come here after so long. | | |
| Another movie that made me think of you.
I just can't forget.
I wished you were there holding me,
telling me you'll never leave me..
I hate myself.
I look at the reflection of me and her,
and I think of you, sometimes.
I feel horrible.
I feel like I'm cheating.
I feel very very bad.
I hate you.
I hate you for so many things you do.
Your attitude,
your rules,
your ego.. I can never understand you.
I have no idea why,
am I really not good enough?
Maybe..
We're just really not meant for each other because I'm tired of trying too? All my friends know I thought of breaking up,
they felt that I'm too restricted,
I drifted away from them..
But it's only after we broke up I realised I really rather keep on trying than losing you.
All I need was just you asking me not to go.
Asking me to stay,
but you just refuse to do it.
Maybe I'm just not important enough and you're sure of breaking up.
Tell me why.
Why am I not good enough?
Is our problems really just cause by me?
I wish you're in a relationship now.
I want to know how long that girl can stand all that.
I hate the fact that..
I hate so many things about you,
but yet you can be the sweetest person on earth,
and I miss you so so so so much.
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